Jun
06
2015

{A HEAVY HEART} TWO YEARS LATER…

full disclosure: this is an extremely heavy read with mostly just words and a lot of feelings.

the flashing line has been blinking at me for the past half hour, i’ve procrastinated this post by trying to find the right music to get me in the right mindset to write this post.  i’m even trying to find lemon cake recipe’s for my mum’s birthday next weekend too (don’t tell my mum, please).  my brain is also fatigued from a tiring week at work.  and honestly, just emotionally fatigued from trying to hold it all together as i knew this day was coming up.

and that’s the thing about grief, there are some days where i am so tired about it, i don’t want to write about it. and some days it just pours out of me and i have endless things to say.  a couple of posts this week could not have come more in perfect timing.  the first was Sheryl Sandberg’s.  i encourage all to read it if you want a tiny glimpse into what it feels like in the immediate aftermath of a sudden loss.  every word she wrote was exactly how i felt after losing Mikey.  then A Cup of Jo wrote one on grief as well.  and what resonated was this passage from Lament of a Son:

Rather often I am asked whether the grief remains as intense as when I wrote. The answer is, No. The wound is no longer raw. But it has not disappeared. That is as it should be. If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over.

Grief is existential testimony to the worth of the one loved. That worth abides. So I own my grief. I do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it… Every lament is a love-song.

so here we are, two years later.

for those new to the blog, two years ago today, my entire world stopped.  i can take you minute by minute to exactly when i got the news.  i can even make your hairs stand up on your arm by telling you that when my sister got the call, i was in nyc, three hours ahead of her time, and i woke up in a panic feeling something had gone terribly wrong.  she didn’t call me with the news til four hours later, waiting for me to wake up.  but i will just never ever forget it.  my first thoughts immediately went to my grandma had passed, or mum/dad didn’t make it.  never EVER had it crossed my mind that it would be his name i would hear.

“Mikey passed away. Mikey’s gone.”

Mikey was my sister’s fiancé.  they had been together for eight years.  they were it.  they were that couple where you thought, “how do they make it work?” and “do they ever argue?”.  he became my brother over the years.  the one who kept me company when my sister had to work, the one who spent endless hours talking to me about history and war stuff, the one who made me pancakes just how i liked whenever i visited, the one who would pull up his pants chest high, create an underbite, pull his glasses down his nose and speak in a dodgy british accent to make us all laugh. he was family.

on June 6th, 2013, Mikey collapsed.  they say it was sudden heart failure.  he was 36 years old.

yes, you read that right.  36 years old.

the first year consisted of incredible pain.  the first year was blundering and stumbling through the pain, shock, and disbelief.  please note that i am speaking as the sister of someone who lost the love of their life as well as someone who lost a loved one.  the first year truly was a struggle.  a struggle to see my sister go through it all, a struggle for me unsure of who to go to to grieve her own loss, a struggle to balance and be strong.  there was a LOT of anxiety and a LOT of tears.  i had to learn how to hold it together for her.  i flew up and down to the bay area and back to be with her.  my world in LA was put on hold, in order for me to help make sure her world went around.  that’s the thing about grief, and i’ve reiterated it before, there isn’t a manual on it and everyone handles it in their own way.  i like to write about, my sister does not.  i talk about it with my parents a lot, my sister does not.  i let her come to me to talk about it when she wants to.  there is no need to push and prod her to speak about it.  she needs to speak on it on her own terms.  so needless to say, the first year also included a lot of learning.  this was the “new normal”.

so year two.  my sister moved down here with me.  there was less anxiety of how she was doing because she was less than 20 ft away from me.  however, there WERE slamming of doors as we learned how to live together once again.  patience was tried.  and any time it became too much, of course it stirred up all the longing for things to be back to how it was.  year two was supposed to be the year of “this was supposed to happen now”.  it was supposed to be a joy.  my sister passed her boards, graduated from her fellowship program, and found a permanent job.  she was supposed to share this with her partner in life.  so as happy as this is, there is that tiny part which can not escape you that thinks, “but wait, he was supposed to be here.”

admittedly though, year two was more bearable.  i think you could say we adjusted.   reality set in and this is the life for us now.  is it any easier?  fuck no.  i still hate that i’m in this situation.  in fact, just about a month ago, i had the thought that two years was coming up and thought to myself, “hey we did ok!”  then no sooner than an hour later, my sister came in, in tears, remembering that that day marked their ten year dating anniversary.  so no, it doesn’t get any easier.  and i still have moments where i shake my head and remind myself that he isn’t here and go through a rollercoaster of emotions.  but i do have to say, it gets “better”.  you figure out your footing on how to deal with the overwhelming sadness that hits you randomly.  when the turkey in the supermarket reminds you of that one thanksgiving where there was so much leftover, he was so happy to eat it for two weeks after, and you just stand there right in the supermarket, letting the tears fall.  when the opening notes of a song that they both loved comes on the radio, and you quickly change the channel before she can hear it, then your eyes well up remembering that this is your new reality.  grief, you fucking phantom limb.  you always know it’s there.  and some days, it decides to not show itself and some days, it decides to come out in full glory and that gets pretty debilitating.

here’s a few things that i’ve learned about grief.

1.  it’s ok to not be ok.

2.  you have a choice each morning to get up and make the most of your day.  do it because he doesn’t have that choice anymore.

3. avoid social media.  it will make you angry and depressed to see how friends find the most petty things to complain about and wail about how sad their life is.  but you can’t be angry at them, their lives go on too.  at the same time, I would never wish this upon anyone else.  and for those who are in the same boat as me and have lost someone, there’s this secret club where we’re all in it together and you feel less alone.  the biggest difference in year two with friends is that they’ve stopped asking how i am.  as though it never even happened.

4. lean on family and close friends.  tell them when you aren’t feeling ok.  they don’t know and have no idea how to deal with the grief either.  they’re petrified of saying the wrong things and most likely will.  they’re just as confused as you are about what to say and how to feel and what to do.  but for me, the simplest of act of just talking to me helped.  don’t leave me in the dark.  i thank the handful of friends who unbeknownst to them have helped me through many a wretched day or put up with my emotional rollercoaster.

5.  take deep breaths.  long walks to clear your head.  carry tissues with you at all times.

6. give yourself the chance to smile again.  we had more laughs this year.  gosh, it felt good.  it felt good for myself.  it felt good to see my sister really laugh and smile again.

7.  no matter what shit day you’ve had, don’t forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them.

8.  Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be. … Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life. Virtually everyone who has ever experienced grief mentions this phenomenon of “waves.”

- Joan Didion

last night, i finally asked my sister how she felt about this day.  and we talked about Mikey.  i wonder how she holds it together some days.  but seeing her hold it together keeps me together.  i still can’t imagine what it must be like to lose someone she loved to the moon and back and back times infinity.  but as you might have heard me say before, they left nothing unsaid and i think that’s one of the most comforting, but heartbreaking things about their relationship.  i expressed how i have a fear that i’m starting to forget him and his mannerisms.  so we started sharing memories and even watched a video she had stashed away.  it’s a weird indescribable feeling of watching someone on the screen that has passed.  you want so badly to reach into the screen to hug him and beg him not to go.  but it’s so oddly comforting knowing that these photos and videos of him exist and are here forever.  and ironically enough, my sister shared a passage with me that i shall leave with you.  in hopes that it helps a few others out there as well (you know who you are).

“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around.

According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly.

Amen.”

—Aaron Freeman

so Mikey, wherever you are, drinking your Guinness and watching your Canucks, we love you and still miss you. every. single. minute. of. the. day.  i still give thanks for you being in our lives.  for being part of our family, for loving me like a sister, and most of all, for showering my sister with love like no other.

May
29
2015

{REAL TALK} NINE RETREAT…

do you ever find stuck or stumped in a life situation? do you ever find that you end up talking yourself in circles about the situation and for the life of you, being unable to figure out what to do next?  you just wish that there was just someone you could chat with that really understood what you’re going through or has been through the situation- whether it be business related or some personal struggle.  or maybe it’s this giggle that you just need to share.  or the fact that you think you’ve figured out how to be most successful in cutting confetti and know the best bits of paper for the most ideal floating confetti.

that has been me.  fact- i live a double life.  during the day, i am part of the recruiting team for a entertainment tech/digital media company.  i work from as soon as i wake up through 10 pm at times.  that world is quite a bit different from this blogging and photography world.  there are times during the day when i see something going on in the wedding photography world that i look up from my computer and want to vent to my coworkers, but i know they will have no flipping idea what the heck i am talking about and no idea how to help me.  so that’s when this community comes in to play.  almost immediately, i will message a close wedding photographer friend or any one in this blogging world i am close with.  they talk me through the issue and help come up with solutions.  i have relied many a time on that advice to help make this blog better.  so i truly believe in the essence of a community and therefore am excited and totally 100% support for this retreat.

Kym Ventola, the one behind this, is a dear sweet friend of mine.   in her little ways, she’s been there for me…whether through social media or physically in person at the rare times we end up being in the same city.  i treasure this lady’s friendship with me and she’s truly an inspiring woman.  what i like about Kym is that she is whole heartedly willing to admit she doesn’t have it figured out.  she’s had her struggles as well, but wants to help others through similar situations and be able to learn and grow from others as well.  i am thrilled she is doing this and the ladies she has partnered with for this include quite a few more ladies that i am uber proud to call friends and have admired for their strength.

what do i love about NINE?

NINE is a retreat for women.
NINE is education and relaxation.
NINE is a safe place for us to support each other.
NINE is a place to be honest and humble and to find the answers we desperately want, but don’t know where to find them.

what else is NINE going to offer:

  • growing your business, while creating more time for yourself, your family and your friends
  • taking control of your finances; learn to save & spend wisely
  • discovering and defining your passions and responsibilities
  • overcoming fears & guilt
  • talking about anxiety and depression
  • getting inspiration and support from our humble, kind, loving and insightful speakers
  • vulnerability
  • community: meet and connect with incredible women
  • creating habits in your daily routine for success
  • photography: we have many photographers attending and will answer any questions you have
  • “dressing your truth”: does your style reflect who you are deep inside?
  • learning simple, healthy makeup tips for a busy schedule
  • learning quick & easy workout routines
  • healthy eating: juice and smoothie lessons to improve your health
  • yoga on the rooftop each morning
  • sharing dinner on the beach with new and old friends, at sunset
  • laughing….a lot.
  • some extra surprises along the way too!

 

if this sounds like something you’re interested in, NINE retreat is

September 21-24 | Venice Beach, California

and i have a special promo code to use for THIS WEEK ONLY.  enter everours9 at checkout.

and obviously head on over to NINE Retreat for the full list of speakers and for more information.

never ever underestimate the power of just spending time with other women in this community and developing that genuine friendship.  those bonds are truly some of the ones i cherish the most.  as cheesy as that sounds….i will yell it from the mountaintops.  that’s how strongly i believe in the simple power of gathering a group of women and each discovering their strengths and realizing they aren’t alone in anything in life.  and let’s be honest, hanging out in the beach house should be the cherry on top.

so again, head on over HERE to learn more and register.  and don’t forget the special promo code!

Apr
29
2015

{PLEASE HELP} FOR NEPAL WITH LOVE…

i’m usually the positive one. the one that is like “go team!”.  the one that cheers everyone on and rallies.  i absolutely love being able to support what wedding photographers do because i do love their work and their ability to capture the most beautiful and touching moments of one of the most important days of people’s lives.

but i also like being the transparent one.  i like to be real. and that might make me sound needy and insincere if i do it too much, because trust me, there are definitely some people are do talk so much what they’ve been through on social media, i cringe too as it just comes off as preachy and self centered.

but here i am today with a plea for help.

many of you are sitting right now reading this from your phone, laptop, tablet or what have you in your studio, office, restaurant, coffee shop or bed.  with a coffee in hand, eating your kale salad, or grilling your steak or what have you.   and because this blog caters to wedding photographers, i am going to call you out specifically.  some of you are getting inquiries and bookings maybe this minute, or this week or the next month that i bet you are in the ranges of $1,000 to $9,000.  i have posted this plea in every one of my social media feeds and Lucia and I have strive really hard to think of who else to reach out to.  and while i am happy that many of you are sharing these posts about what we’re doing.  the donation amount has remained pretty stagnant.  and i get it.  i totally and utterly get it.  i am not rich by any means and i like having money to be able to support my lifestyle.  in fact, sometimes i am a downright worry wart and hide in my apartment refusing to hang out with people because it means spending money which i am terrified i might not have next week if i lose my job.  no one can guarantee job security whether you’re in corporate America or self-employed.  so trust me when i say, i know.  but for pete’s sake, give up that cup of coffee or that kale salad and just donate $5 or $10.

it makes a difference.

i saw it happen when we did For Japan With Love.  that $72,000 plus didn’t come from people donating chunks of money like $50 or $100 or thousands.  it came from over 1,400 individuals that were donating $5, $10, or $25.  yeup, that’s right.  all of us coming together in small ways to help for a larger cause.  people in need and oh how they needed our help and support.  we are in a position to give it to them, so please just reexamine your priorities for the next two weeks and help us raise funds to help Nepal.

the media here isn’t really covering it because apparently riots, violence, celebrities and their lifestyles are far more important issues to cover.  a natural disaster in a third world country apparently is not as of a concern.  but here’s how i see it,  not all of us were Haitian or Japanese or Filipino when those major disastrous natural disasters happened.  the bottom line is we are humans.  we are all human beings.  and as human beings, we have the undeniable power to be compassionate, to be in a position to help one another, to have empathy. 

SO PLEASE HELP.

the death toll has now surpassed 4,800.  over 9,200 are injured.  over EIGHT MILLION people have been affected.

it wasn’t just an earthquake.  it wasn’t just a 7.8 earthquake.  it was also an avalanche that took lives and injured and stranded others.  many of whom are still missing.  it was also an earthquake that caused a 6.7 aftershock.  it was also an earthquake that caused landslides that resulted in 200 more people missing. 

so please, instead of spending 5 minutes scrolling through your instagram or facebook or what have you. please take a moment to put yourself in their shoes and what would you hope someone would do for you?  then do it.  donating takes less than five minutes.  and that $5 or $25 or $100, no matter what the amount, i promise you’re going to help a life.  and i guarantee that it’s a feeling that will make you feel 100% full.   please head over HERE to donate and please help spread the word and keep Nepal and surrounding areas in your prayers and thoughts.

click image below to go directly to donate.

if you are a photographer that wants to help in other ways, please email me.  i would be ever so grateful.

for more information too, please head to FOR NEPAL WITH LOVE.

thank you for listening.

take care.

Feb
24
2015

{ENGAGEMENT} A SNOWY KIND OF LOVE…

thrilled to be able to feature the work of

WILLIAM YATES

y’all need to check out what this guy is doing in his corner of the world because it’s absolutely beautiful.  head on over HERE…seriously, guys.

Feb
06
2015

{CONFETTI THROW FRIDAYS} NO. 66…

have you guys missed confetti throw fridays??  as a reminder,  confetti throw fridays is where after spending my thursday nights scouring through my blog subscriptions and social media feeds, i picked my favorite images from any of the wedding photographers i am following and showcased them each week in the friday post.  it’s a chance to show off the hard work that wedding photographers have been up to.  in all honesty, i see it as a way for wedding photographers to cheer each other on and give high fives to each for the stellar work.  never see it as a competition or a let down if you’re not on here, always see it as motivation and to throw confetti for your peers in this industry.  i’ve kind of skipped town on the confetti throw fridays because i have literally been flooded with submissions, so i’m trying to be fair and slide those on in on fridays instead.  so just a heads up that until i get these submissions under control, these confetti throw friday posts will be rather sporadic.

additionally, just a few housekeeping details and things that have been on my mind, some of which i have shared on my instagram:

1.  after five years of blogging about weddings and trying hard to get in the faces of brides and grooms and make them realize how important wedding photography is, i have felt like i was losing a battle.  i was constantly complaining about the readers simply just not hearing me, however, the photographers were.  so it is my goal to start gearing this blog to wedding photographers.  have this place become a home for photographers to be inspired.  have this become a place where photographers come to get motivated.  a place for the wedding photography community to cheer on each other.  at the heart of this blog, that is always what has mattered.  hope you are on this ride with me.  i’m about to start a new blog series that will highlight a photographer.  they may have been a game changer in this industry or someone whose work i truly have valued and supported.  either way, i want you to hear them and read their words.  i will be posting these on sundays so it’ll give photographers a chance to kick their feet up after a saturday wedding and give you a morning coffee read.  first one is coming up this sunday!

2. no one has come out to say it really. but wedding blogs….every vendor has such a love/hate relationship with them. most often, it’s the “I don’t get any inquiries” after being a sponsor or a feature. here is my two cents and this is to no offense to my wedding blogger friends because I know they work just as hard to make this their full-time business. if you don’t find value in placing ads or sponsoring a blog, don’t do it then. it’s true, they can’t guarantee you bookings, let alone inquiries, but note that they should also value you as a client and investor for their blog. so f you think they’re doing a crappy job for what you paid for, then say something. don’t sit there and complain about it. how can you better yourself as a business and better them as a business to help you can and get what you paid for? I mean, we’re all in this together so for pete’s sake, help each other. I can’t speak to what they pick to feature and how their taste has now become questionable. but I’m talking about the services they promised to provide you as a paying client on their space. which leads me to….

3. i have never had the mindest to be an entrepeneur. i don’t really think that way, hence why i am not a full-time blogger. i can’t justify asking vendors for money when i can’t guarantee they’ll profit from being on my blog. i prefer being genuine and having real friendships and find that it’s much easier to be when there isn’t money involved with my wedding industry world. i also strictly want to keep this blog as my hobby- a pure labor love that i can pour my heart into and not be tainted by any financial burdens.

4. therefore, i have a full-time day job. well i did, then didn’t, then do again. back in December, my position was eliminated so i joined the funemployment train. disappointed and sad not to be able to work with my team anymore, i was actually excited to get my career back on track because the current role was going a different direction. i had no financial concern luckily because i was smart enough to be saving money all along. i admittedly really enjoyed myself and kept busy with binge watching tv series and movies. my one regret was not taking a trip somewhere. my ride on the funemployment train didn’t last very long. i’m back at it again behind a desk, but this time with a commute. i used to have a 5 minute walk to work, now i have a 40 minute car ride, but i’m with company that i was fortunate enough to work with before and very excited to be working with again. funemployment is a funny thing. there definitely were anxiety and panic attacks and fears of never feeling good enough, but overall, i think i handled it pretty well.

5. that brings me to my last point of today. please count this as my notice that i know i owe photographers emails about their submissions. i have them starred in my inbox and i promise to return them soon. i just need to adjust back to answering emails on the weekends only. my brain can only do so much with a full-time day job AND a blog that is STILL growing every day. i do intend on keeping my sanity so i can keep the blog going. i truly appreciate the patience and more importantly, the fact that you all want to be on the blog. can’t thank you enough.

ok enough blabbing…

onto the first confetti throw friday of 2015!

BRADFORD MARTENS

——

GENE OH

——

WILL KIM

——

KAT BRAMAN

——

DANIEL CRUZ

——

 and lastly, over the past few weeks, a LOT of my friends have lost loved ones (like I can’t count on one hand anymore). my own grandmother passed away two weeks ago. my heart grieves and each time i am told news of a passing, I have flashbacks to the days right after Mikey suddenly passed over a year and half ago and I feel so terribly sad  all over again. however, after a few moments to gather myself, I find comfort in being able to be there for others and attempt to help them as much as possible.  i know words barely can hold you together after you lose someone.  i know that you can’t seek comfort in being surrounded by the left behind loves ones.  nothing feels ok and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be ok.  there is no manual on grief so don’t feel pressured that you’re supposed to follow some sort of timeline and miraculously be cured.  and honestly, even after one and a half years later, it still hurts like you can’t even imagine.  so you know who you are, I am thinking of you all and sending you love.

hug your loved ones more closely.  tell them “i love you” more often.

have a great weekend all!

*throws confetti*

Jan
10
2015

{BEST OF 2014} FINALE…

oh you very well know that i wouldn’t end this without some confetti right?

this above is by far my favorite confetti capture ever.  many thanks to BABB PHOTO for this one.

and so there it all is.  the “Best of 2014″.

i know it was a massive collection and might have been overwhelming to get through it all.  some say that perhaps the specialness of being included might have gone away since there were so many.  but that wasn’t the true goal of showcasing this collection.  i wanted to make sure to include all the wedding photographers that sent something in because i have appreciated the support and encouragement they give to this blog for the past year.  this is my way of thanking you all AND celebrating you all for being part of the blog in 2014.  i tried my hardest to make sure to select images where you could all see how truly talented wedding photographers can be.  i hope i did it justice.

i want people to know as many wedding photographers out there as possible, to see all the talent there is, to see all their peers and how hard you all are working.  and most importantly, i want all wedding photographers in this community to be proud of what all your peers have been up to this year.  i want people to remember not to view as competition, but to view it as motivation for their 2015.  i want people to realize that while yes, it’s important to keep going, don’t compare yourself to what others have been doing,  don’t be jealous of the epic backdrops or destinations, but pick yourself up and get out there.  don’t let the competition take away from doing what you love.   backdrops, venues, and details aren’t what make the best wedding photography.  it’s what story you are able to tell from the wedding day or between the couple that is what is most important.  realize that this wedding photography community is here for you and with you.  encourage each other.  throw confetti at each other. let’s make 2015 better for each other.

this is the essence of this blog. while the primary focus is show off wedding photography, it’s also been making sure you all realize you are all in this together.  i love being part of the wedding photography community, even if i am not a wedding photographer.  this past year, i’ve truly enjoyed becoming closer friends with so many of you all.  all the tears, frustrations, belly laughs and confetti throws.  and it’s been absolutely astonishing to see the growth of individual photographers and most definitely fun discovering more talent.  i have had this blog for five years, it’s been purely a labor of love.  each year, i am even more thankful for the growth it has.  however, this year, instead of trying to fight the never ending battle of getting brides and grooms to understand the importance of having a solid gold wedding photographer, i have decided to build upon this wedding photography community instead.  i’ll be gearing this blog in a slightly different direction this year while still showcasing the best wedding photographers out there.  i’m out here in hopes to make this wedding photographer community even better.  i hope you all stay tuned for it and get others to come on board too.  let’s do this, 2015.

and on that note, again…thank YOU to all the wedding photographers that have sent in a feature this past year and to all the ones who are still sending in submissions.  i thank all of you for the patience while waiting to hear back from me.  it’s a one woman show behind here and i truly appreciate those who wait for months for their feature to go up.  i truly appreciate how much you all support this blog and i feel so lucky that you find this blog worthy of your work.  so thank you so very much.

lastly, thank YOU to all the wedding photographers that sent images in for the “Best Of 2014″.  my heart was bursting at the seams with how many of you sent something in and it’s truly with pride that i shared all of these this week.  thank you, thank you, thank you.  what an incredible 2014 you all had and i can’t wait to see your 2015.

and obviously, i can’t end on that note without some confetti right?!  my favorite confetti (or confetti like) images that were sent in below.

ADRIENNE GUNDE

——

ARIANE MOSHAYEDI

——

BRITTNI WILLIE

——

JENNY JIMENEZ

——

LEV KUPERMAN

——

REDFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY

AGAIN, THANK YOU TO ALL!

thank you so much for visiting this blog for not only the “Best Of 2014″ to check out these amazing wedding photographers and to cheer them on, but for coming every day to see what other beautiful work is out there.  here’s to a year of some crazy beautiful scenic venues and flawless lighting and shadows.  and here’s to an upcoming year full of the best of the best wedding storytelling there is.

goodbye 2014.  here’s to 2015.

let’s do this.

*throws confetti*

Jul
25
2014

EVER OURS TURNS FIVE…

this sunday, the blog turns five.  that’s right, i said five.  ever ours has been in existence for five years.

when i first created this blog, i felt that the way to go was to focus on the pretty details and all the work that went on with the production of the wedding day.  through time, i realized that it really wasn’t the passion of mine to focus on that.  in my first year of blogging, i had to hustle with getting features.  this meant me constantly reaching out to wedding photographers to make sure i had permission to use their images.  the communication back and forth with photographers drew me to the conclusion that in my opinion, these guys were the most essential people for a wedding day and for the bride and groom.  after all, who else would be there to capture this important day forever and ever? not your family friend who has some fancy camera, but a professional wedding photographer who has done this time and again who truly knows what love looks like because they’ve captured it time and time again through their lens.

i decided to then take this blog in a different direction.  while details definitely do make weddings look beyond beautiful, i felt the need to just highlight what wedding photographers do and shoot.  be THE place to showcase the damn good work they do.  while this meant that i wouldn’t get the million readers per day because brides and grooms still don’t realize the importance of good photography and will only flock to blogs that do focus on that which is fine with me, it allowed me to find a passion for this blog and this industry that not many have.  it allowed me to create friendships with wedding photographers that i truly treasure.  it allowed me to create a community of wedding photographers that have become like family and truly a community that i am so proud to belong to and be part of.  i will constantly feature good wedding photography because i truly believe that brides and grooms need to realize how important it is to book a solid wedding photographer.  not only that, but to TRUST in the work that they do and allow them to do their jobs to capture your wedding day perfectly.  i will constantly be able tog feature some amazing wedding photographers because they somehow trust me with showcasing their work and calling this blog a home for their work.

i love what this blog has become in five years.  i love that it has allowed me to establish so many genuine friendships with people all across the world.  i love that i did this by sticking to focusing on wedding imagery- still and moving.  people have asked me why i don’t start earning money from this and i say because it takes away from why i am doing this.  why i continue to blog is because i want this to be a place where i can just get lost for a while and just be in awe of what talented human beings are capable of.  i have this fear by opening it up to sponsorships, it will take away from being a genuine place of wanting to highlight some solid gold wedding photographers.  i want this place to be a blog where wedding photographers are proud to have their work featured and for other wedding photographers to cheer on the work of their peers.  and if they get inquiries and bookings from it, that’s an added perk.  but first and foremost, this blog is one that is humbled and honored to showcase the beauty and love that a lens is capable of capturing.

i work hard on this blog as much as i can.  on top of this blog, i somehow manage to balance having a day job, a front desk job at a workout studio on the weekends and attempt to still have some life with family and friends.  the past year has been incredibly rough as many of you know.  the sudden loss of family really took the rug out under me.  there were days when i really didn’t want to work on anything at all.  it was just too hard to focus when there was so much sadness going on in my life.  but i am more than blessed to know so many people through this blog who constantly were reaching out to hold me up in the dark moments.  this blog has taught me that if i really want to do something and i really love it, you figure out a way to make it happen.  you make the sacrifices because you love it so much and you just truly believe in what you’re doing no matter what.  however, all of this said and done can not be accomplished without the loyalty and encouragement of so many, especially those that come read this blog on a daily basis.  i do suppose these are mainly wedding photographers who are here to support their fellow wedding photographers.  but it’s ok.  at least word is getting out and some of us are getting the chance to get lost in truly amazing work.  i keep blogging because the community and the friendships are worth it.  and obviously the talent.

so wedding photographers, thank you so so so so very much for sending your work to me…every single day. you have no idea how many times i squeal when a submission comes in.  some days i still can’t believe people are so excited to have their work on this blog.  i am so flattered that you want this blog as a home for your work.  thank you for trusting in me to feature your work regardless of whether it gets you inquiries or bookings.  i hope you all know that i will do whatever i can to always emphasize the importance of wedding imagery in my little corner of the earth.  i’m terribly overshadowed by other priorities that other blogs have claimed to be more vital than wedding photography and cinematography, but i will keep on keeping on and make sure this blog will always stand by this.  i will continue to discover and highlight the work of some amazing talent out there.

to the wedding photographers and cinematographers that have become friends in real life,  thank you so very much for your friendship. you have no idea how much it truly means to me.  the friendships are far more important than the number of readers this blog will bring.  there will be nothing that can replace these friendships that have brought belly laughs, ridiculous google hang outs, real life hang outs, WPPI craziness and Photo Field Trip Confetti Chaos.  thank you for all the love, laughs, high fives and confetti throws.

so here’s to five years of doing this and to the many more to come.

and of course…no anniversary post is complete without some confetti right?

i reached out to some wedding photographers to send some over. below are a few and i’ll be including more to introduce future confetti throw fridays too.

LUMINAIRE IMAGES

——

JILL DEVRIES

——

GOLDEN HOUR STUDIOS

——

ZAC WOLF/ DANGER BOOTH

——

EMILY CHIDESTER

——

KYM VENTOLA

——

CAMI JANE PHOTOGRAPHY

 ——

truly my kind of heaven…being showered with confetti.

i got frames from wedding photogs and friends that have supported this blog from year one to recent wedding photographer discoveries.  and it truly warmed my heart.  it’s really awesome to see how far this blog has come and just all the amazing people that i have met along the way.  so thank you.  thank you truly from the bottom of my heart.  this blog is truly nothing without you all.